Albel's Holy Crusade
by Mysticloner
Summary: This is the parody for Monty Pyhon and the holy Grail. some swearing and violence. Please review.
1. Albel's beginning

Albel the Wicked and the Holy Crusade

Albel's theme

Albel was pretending to ride a dragon as Roger flaps the palm leaves in the Airyglyph city

Albel: Whoa there!

Roger stops flapping and is breathing hard

Albel: Sad little worm. Hello there! Hello! Down here you stupid worm!

Demetrio: Who goes there?

Albel: It is I, Albel Nox, son of Glou Nox. Defeater of the Creater Luther. Captain of the black bridage. Demetrio: Smack my dragon hide!

Albel: I am. And this is my little worm Roger. We have flew over here from the Elicoor to search for fighters to join me.

Demetrio: Wha... Riden on an Air dragon?

Albel: Yes.

Demetrio: You're using palm tree leaves!

Albel: What do you mean worm?

Demetrio: You got two pair of Palm tree leaves and you're flapping them.

Albel: So? We've flew threw the lands of Elicoor, throughout the lands, Are they not strangers to our lands?

Demetrio: Where did you get the palm tree leaves?

Albel: We've found them.

Demetrio: Found them? Here? This is an Airyglyph.

Albel: So what?

Demetrio: The palm trees do not grow in the cold winter of Airyglyph.

Wolter: Prehaps someone brough it here.

Demetrio: On what creature would carry such thing?

Wolter: A hauler maybe.

Demetrio: Maybe but they're stationed in Caverns.

Wolter: Oh quite right. quite right.

Demetrio: Maybe they could be carried by the air dragons.

Wolter: Don't be stupid! Air dragons carrying palm trees?

Albel: Shut up you worms! I need to speak to your lord and master! If he would just give us food and shelter for the night...

Demetrio: Prehaps a lum?

Wolter: what? why would any one in their right minds have lums carry palm trees?.

Demetrio: To flap their arms like dimwits?

Wolter: You are a dimwit.

Demetrio: You're so mature. Dimwit.

Albel: Worms. Come Roger.

Roger: Ouch, don't yank me you lummox!

Vox:

Bring out your dead

Bring out your dead

Bring out your dead

Bring out your dead

Bring out your dead.

Ninteen fol.

Bring out your dead.

Bring out your dead

Bring out your dead

Puffy: Here's one.

Vox: ninteen Fol.

Ameena: I'm not dead!

Vox: what?

Puffy: Nothing. here's ninteen Fol.

Ameena: I'm not dead!

Vox: Here. She said she's not dead.

Puffy: She will be. She's suffering a disease.

Vox: I can't take her, it's against regulation.

Ameena: I don't wanna go on a cart!

Puffy: Shut up you! Look, can't you do anything? When's your next round?

Vox: Thursday. I gotta go to Kirlsa. They lost four today.

Ameena: I think i'll go for a walk.

Puffy: You're not fooling anyone you stupid bint.

Vox: Look, really i can't take her.

Ameena: I'm so happy! I'm so happy! Vox gives in and snaps Ameena's Neck

Puffy: Bout time!

Albel rides past them

Puffy: Who's that?

Vox: Must be the captain of the black Brigade.

Puffy: How did you know?

Vox: He's riding an air dragon duh.

Puffy: Moron. They're using palm tree leaves.

Vox: You're lacking in the imagination department

Albel: Old woman!

Prodial Viscount Eli: Man!

Albel: Sorry, man. What person lives in that Manor?

Eli: I'm 37

Albel: What fool?

Eli: I'm 37, i'm not old.

Albel: I do not care. I need to know who lives in that Manor.

Eli: You know what i object is that young men like you do not know manners in these parts.

Albel: Look pal, i don't care, i want to know who lives in that manor! I'm Albel, the captain of the black brigade.

Eli: Oh how did you get that eh? By exploiting the innocents and the nobles with your ill manners. If only i knew who your master was, i would...

Lady Gina: Eli, there is some lovely filth down here. Oh, how... Do you do?

Albel: Who is this broad?

Gina: Offended I'm Lady Gina.

Albel: Fine. Can you tell me who lives in that Manor?

Gina: Dunno.

Albel: What do you mean, you don't know?

Gina: I'm just a girl.

Albel: You would know because you're living in these parts of the land.

Gina: Just who do you think you are?

Albel: I'm Albel the Wicked. The captain of the black brigade.

Eli: How did you become the Captain of the black Brigade?

Albel: I took a ceremony in the accersion of trial and barely survived of the dragon breath and later owned the name as a Captain of the dragon Brigade.

Eli: Look here, just because you're a captain of some black brigade, it means nothing to any of us. And here you are thinking you're some king and can act upon us to do whatever you please.

Albel: Mind your own buisness worm!

Eli: I mean if i went around saying I became a Captain of the black brigade just because i went to get myself killed by dragons, they would throw me away!

Albel: Shut up you stupid worm!

Eli: Getting violent here eh? I see, you are just upset because i'm right.

Albel: How about you like to have a sample of my blade carving the roof of your mouth?

Eli: Oh help, help! I'm being repressed!

Albel: Stupid fool! Flies away

Eli: Oh what a let down. Did you see that?

Norton and shelby battles to the death and as Albel approaches, Shelby kills Norton and stands victoriously over the carcass

Albel: That piece of worm was worthless if you ask me. A fine warrior like yourself should join me! Well, i ask of you, would you join me on the quest?

Pause

Albel: what's the matter? Dragon got your tongue? Speak arrogant fool!

Pause

Albel: So be it. Come Roger.

Shelby: No one may pass. I will kill you if you refuse to turn away.

Albel: Oh a threat eh? You think you can hurt me you stupid fool?

Shelby: Then, you shall die.

Albel: Back little fool! To Roger, back to Shelby You die now! Cut's Shelby's arm off Oh thank you glorious, have mercy at the...

Kicks

Shelby: Come now.

Albel: What? You're arm's off and it didn't faze you?

Shelby: Just a little scratch that's all.

Albel: A little scratch? Look at yourself fool! You're arm's bleeding well off!

Shelby: It's just a flesh wound.

Albel: Hmph. Cut's off his other arm Now stand down.

Shelby: Still a scratch.

Albel: Are you getting stupider? Is by cutting off your arms reducing your intelligence?

Shelby: Have at you!

Albel: What, gonna bleed on me some more? Pitiful worm!

Shelby: The black brigade always triumphs!

Albel: And i am the Captain of the Black brigade stupid. Cuts off his leg

Shelby: Right, that'll do.

Albel: Still bloody standing?

Shelby: I'm invincible!

Albel: You're just a worm to me.

Cuts off his other leg

Shelby: Man. Fine, we'll call it a draw.

Albel: Hmph. Come Roger.

Shelby: Oh running away now huh? come back here you stupid butt monkey! I'll bite your leg off!


	2. Albel's journey continues

Albel the Wicked and the Holy Crusade

the next upcoming Chapter.

Crimson blade members; Yadda goosfraba yeah cakago.

Hits face with a board

Members: Yadda Goosfraba yeah cakago.

Yadda goosfraba yeah cakago.

Hits face with a board

Members: Yadda Goosfraba yeah cakago.

Yadda goosfraba yeah cakago.

Hits face with a board

Members: Yadda Goosfraba yeah cakago.

Yadda goosfraba yeah cakago.

Hits face with a board

Members: Yadda Goosfraba yeah cakago.

Villagers: Klausion, Klausion, Klausion! may we kill her? Klausion! We found a Klausion!

Klausion! We found a Klausion! Klausion, Klausion, Klausion! Klausion, Klausion, Klausion!

may we kill her?

Marietta: how do you know she is a Klausion?

Piccolotto: She has a thing around her neck.

Mirage: I'm not a Klausion. And this isn't real, it'sa just tattooes they put on my neck.

Marietta: You tattooed her neck?

Piccolotto: No. No. Yes. Yes. A bit. Abit. But she has that Klausion Upholster.

Marietta: How would you know that she is a Klausion?

Piccolotto: ummmm...

Tynave: She is stronger than us.

Marietta: Does a Klausion have any effect on a human gun?

Tynave: No. Shoot her! Shoot her! Yes! Shoot her!

Villagers: Shoot her!

Vanilla: Her's a handgun i just created.

Marietta shoots. the gun doesn't faze her.

Mirage: You lousy bh!

Villagers: shoot her with the Special cannon! Kill her! Kill her!

Albel: Hold on there!

Marietta: What do you want?

Albel: I think the best way to deal with Klausions is to burn them.

Mirage: You dumb!

Marietta: very well, burn her!

Villagers: Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her!

Burn her! Burn her!

Marietta: Who are you, the man who knew such things?

Albel: I'm Albel. And you are?

Marietta: Marietta sir.

Albel: Will you join me?

Marietta: Yes sir.

Albel: Great now get in line and let's go.

Narrater: At last Albel the wicked has finally got a warrier on his side and soon after, Sir Cliff the brave, sir Fayt the Pure, Lady Nel, the not so brave as sir Cliff. And Sir not appearing in this film. They rode together to the castle Aquios.

Marietta: And that Sir Albel is how the chickens were known to be alarm clocks.

Albel: I thought i told you to stuff it.

Fayt: Look Sir Albel.

Albel: Oh, you found Aquios.

Cliff: Aquios!

Fayt: Aquios!

Nel: Aquios!

Roger: It's only a model.

Albel kicks Roger down

Albel: Shut up stupid worm.

Roger: You Lommox!

Albel: Welcome to your new home, Aquios.

aquios knights: We're singable, we're pathetic

We're the castle of... A... Q...ui...ossssss...

clap, clap, clap

We're singable and able.

We have to be aquios knights. We just love to be it's bitch.

Albel: Riiiight. let's get out of here worms.

Luther: Albel, Albel!

Albel: Oh crap, it's the god.

Luther: Albel, i have a quest for you.

Albel: Yeah what is it?

Luther: You must find this Holy crusade. Now, that is your quest Albel. Look for the crusade.

Cliff: A blessing. A blessing from Luther!

Fayt: Luther be praised!

Albel: Hello! Anyone up there? Hello!

Biwig: Who's there?

Albel: It is I, Albel, the captian of the Black brigade. Who's castle is this?

Biwig: I own this castle. now what do you want?

Albel: We were charged by a quest by Luther to find the Crusade. If you could give us food and shelter for the night.

Biwig: No, now go away you rotten flesh chewing Elicoorian!

Albel: Beh! You dare to insult me?

Biwig: Now leave this place from your hideous presence you so called Captian Fartgades!

Fayt: Who are you?

Biwig: I'm a Veendini: Where do you think i got this Outrageous Accent?

Fayt: What are you doing here?

Biwig: Shagging your aunties that's what! now leave us you crap licking fish rpng moron! I blow my nose at you.

Albel: Come down here so i can carve out the roof of your mouth!

Biwig: You don't frighten me Elicoorian pig dogs!

Albel: That's it.

Moooooooo!

Albel: Run away!

cluck cluck cluck bleaaah! Moo! lum Bellows

Fayt: That's it, that fiend is dead.

Marietta: Hang on, i have an idea.

(Ree ree clink clink wiggle wiggle bang, bang dreek creek creek whirrrrrrr shhhshhhshhshhshhshhshhshh Ree ree ree. Conk ding cobble bibble bibblebttbbbttbbttbbttbbtt. ree ree ree.)

Biwig: What on Elicoor...?

(Whirr whirr)

Veendini: Ah, a present. what to do?

Takes in a large wooden Lum

Albel: now what?

Marietta: Now, when night falls, Fayt, Cliff and I will leap out of a lum and we attack the Veendini.

Albnel: Ummm... There is something wrong here.

Marietta: No really, Cliff, Fayt and I... Oh shi...

Twing!

Albel: Run away!


End file.
